Most people feel uncomfortable to talk about their fantasies or even admit their existence. Even in today’s tell-all culture, sexual fantasies remain one of our last taboos. However, sexual fantasies are perfectly normal.
The brain is the most powerful sexual organ of the human body. It creates the entire desire process and, through a storm of hormones, influences the whole sexual act..
According to some psychologists people who have sexual intelligence are capable of feeling how to tap into their partners mind and satisfy better themselves In other words, people who are aware about their sexual needs, make better choices and are able to act out their fantasies.
Some people find it hard to share their secret desires with their partners because they think their beauty lies in being the only person to know about them! They think, sexual fantasies are so pleasurable because they are secret and forbidden.
However, one could equally argue, that by sharing your fantasies with your partner you are able to have a better understanding of what turns them on, and therefore, enjoy a more satisfying sex life.
Perhaps at this point I should mention that stability, trust and the overall quality of the relationship is quite important in regards to expressing and exchanging, freely, fantasies.
What is the purpose of the sexual fantasies after all? Pure pleasure, control and power?
Fantasies seem to liberate and stimulate people, they help maintain and improve desire and positive challenge in sex. They are a sort of an aphrodisiac during the sexual process.
What about people who haven’t got any fantasies? Does this mean they are “ cold “people with poor imagination? Of course not.
Some people don’t need fantasies to feel turned on and complete. And perhaps we shouldn’t impose so many “ shoulds” on our sex life
Each one of you has a different level of imagination and different needs.
One thing can work wonders for you but could be completely useless for someone else .The important thing is not to feel guilty or ashamed about your sexual fantasies. They are being considered a problem only if they prevent the individual to function in a healthy way and enjoy sex and life in general.

Mr. Right
“I recently met this wonderful guy through my brother’s friend. The problem is he is an Arab and I can’t help thinking about the different culture, religion and family values he has (I am Cypriot –British born and raised in UK)
He seems to be far from my ideal type, yet he makes me laugh, he is intelligent and reliable. Do you think I am just attracted to him because he is so exotic and different from the other guys? I have heard many scary stories about inter racial relationships.”

Any man, any place, any job, any height and skin colour- can be the Mr. Right if he has the qualities that you really want. However, if your differences, around fundamental issues, are too extreme, the relationship is doomed to fail.
I would suggest you get to know him better without any rush or preconceived ideas. In order to find the ideal guy you should throw out of the window any list you may have on your mind .Lists, simply, don’t work! Time will give you the right answers. Love is about mutual respect and caring, emotional, intellectual and physical compatibility.

Cyprus Gold’s psychotherapist Christina Vlachopoulos answers your questions on general lifestyle issues, love, sex and relationships. If you have a problem/question for Christina email her at
christinavl@hotmail.com. Christina reads and answers all your letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.